Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
