we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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