She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize