We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
