somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
