Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
