either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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