Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
