I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
