What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
