I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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