Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
