Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
