WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
