Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
