Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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