Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
