I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
