somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
