I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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