I'm drive I can fine osifer
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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