I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
