Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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