My brain says no but my pants say off.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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