I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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