what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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