shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
