I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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