Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i love accidental penises.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
