can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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