Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
