it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
