woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I got inside last night via doggy door
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
