doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Randomize
