Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
