Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
