Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
