i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
