lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
