I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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