Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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