Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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