ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
