Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize