She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Your penis caused this!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
