I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
