Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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