Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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