I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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