I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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