Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
