Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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