She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
