who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
