Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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