Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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