My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
