We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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