Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
