Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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