I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Randomize
