Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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