I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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