do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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