Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
