He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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