if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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