No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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