Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
