I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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