Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
