Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
