Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
